Talk:The Haunting Of Notsi123/@comment-27730508-20190302045850

(SPOILERS!)

This review was conducted on March 1st, 2019.

Grammar/Spelling: Some minor grammar errors and some poor word choice. By "poor word choice" I mean you know what you tried to say, but didn't word it correctly. (See all chapters).

General Story: The concept of the virus featured in this story is interesting and is something I haven't seen before on this wiki. The gore might've been a bit much, but it never felt it was the main "shock" factor of the story. It is intriguing to think what might happen if a virus similar to this virus would take an IRL form. The dialogue of the characters has the most errors, and the actual storytelling is done in a way that does not make the story seem like a part of it doesn't fit.

I will bash you for the fact the main protagonist could still write about his expirence even though they would've not been able to. The story mentions no record of the protagonist recording his expirences, and if he did it appears he was writing down everything that happened in real time. Now, does that seem realistic to you? If he was actually trying to escape from the virus then this wouldn't be the case. So, either the protagonist wrote between parts of the story or this element is just so distracting and profoundly unrealistic is might subtract from the story greatly.

Then there's the last chapter: "The Secret Chapter..." now, tell me, how the hell did Jorrel record all this? Just like the protagonist, there is no way this could've happened as he wrote "I died" near the end. Realism should be put into place if you write more pastas like this (Yes, I know you have, just a different series).

Starting off the story with any form of "it was a normal day" is really cliche. Others might brush past these cliches, but it annoys me that nobody seems to read other pastas on this site to figure out this is a cliche. Or, they may just be ignorant. I'm not accusing you of this, but keep this in mind.

FINAL SCORE: 6.5/10