Talk:The Creepy Caillou Game/@comment-30144972-20170621005809

Analysis:

Grammar: 6/10 (Don't start your sentences with conjunctions. Keep the use of ellipsis (the use of "...") to a low level. On the sixth paragraph, you constantly start most of your sentences with "I". Need quotation marks for the word "Troll" in the fourth paragraph for the sentence "I found a sign that said Troll". Inconsistent use of tense (using present tense when it should be past tense) in the last sentence.)

Originality: 10/10 (lol it was very... unique.)

Plot: 6/10 (How did you stumble upon this game? Why didn't you hear the music before you went into the green house. The story/wording makes it seem like you only heard the music when you went into the house, but I'm not exactly sure what you mean. In the fourth paragraph, it had a sentence explaining there was a person saying "Congrats, you have found the real game." What do you mean by "saying"? What did you do when you saw the future-like hallway?)

Empathy: 2/10 (This story barely gave any feelings or emotions for the protagonist. Actions don't just make up a good story.)

Thrill: 4/10 (The lack of emotion and drive combined with unnecessary sentences from the protagonist that throw off the vibe (like "All the events here are true" or the phrase "or whatever" in the fourth paragraph) made the story very boring and didn't give the reader the conclusion that this creepypasta was "thrilling". Most of the sentences felt repetitive, as most of them started with "I" or "Then".)

FINAL SCORE: 5.6/10