Talk:Be Careful/@comment-39442597-20200530143608

8.7/10

I’ll have to ease it on the author since this is their first pasta.

On the positive side, the story is short but yet still manages to add some creepiness to it, since the character is attempting to search up creepy roblox games, and leads themself into an experience they most likely won’t forget, and them getting warnings from something inside of the computer to “Be careful”. This is also added to by the fact the author has computer issues, and the background gives them a headache, which gives off a slight “supernatural” feeling.

On the negative side, the story does indeed have cliches in it, such as the account being terminated for an odd reason after visiting a game, the computer acting up, and finally just the hacking part.

I did enjoy it though, since yet again in my previous ratings it gives off the “classic story” feeling, which is emphasized throughout in the sequence of events. You should improve a bit, I’d suggest reading other popular ones such as “Town of Blank” or “4nn1” to gather some inspiration, this isn’t bad for your first because the grammar and punctuation were perfect, but taking a look at other structures may shed some light on your future writings.