Talk:The River/@comment-26476745-20150608121646

Certainly better than the other "my first creepypasta!" excuse users.

However, I have my nitpicks

Voices coming from the speakers are unrealistic, annoying to read and just proove that the author tries to fit in with all the other CP's by completely copying them.

Also, you thinking to yourself was bad, but not that bad. Certainly a good point to begin with for a new writer.

The fact that aforementioned voice is saying things like "Play with me!" makes it sound like the grudge, you know, that horribly cliche'd film.

It was also short in length and generally made no sense, What is the purpose of the voice? What was your character wearing? Ect. Also, the fact people are giving this a "10/10" for no reason other than to look cool and do what everyone else is doing is just frustrating, don't say "10/10" without giving your reasons why, this isn't a masterpasta, it's a newbiepasta (Not saying that newbs can't write masterpasta!)

Cheers!

-Alain