Talk:The Dark Rumor/@comment-36035664-20191102141021

The comment below me is incorrect. I will provide examples of what you can use to improve YOUR creepypasta, Dark.

-Grammar

Ugh. This creepypasta feels like it's clustered, and when I read it, I kept going too fast because there weren't periods! Please, add periods after a sentence. But that isn't the only thing you need to make the grammar rise and shine.

-Whenever you're about to use dialog (quotes), add a paragraph and then put the dialog there. Don't forget to claim who is talking!

-Good example:

Ashleigh ran and hid behind a tree only to discover her friend Denise.

"Hey! What are you doing here?!" Asheigh squealed.

"Be quiet, Ashleigh!" Denise whispered.

-Again, with the dialog. Don't add pointless dialog. Show, don't tell.

Bad example: Henry hit the ball with his bat as he took a small breath, "That was easy!"

Good example: Henry hit the ball, and it went flying towards the sky. It soon dashed down as his team players were astonished. Henry went bulging down the area to reach his base, as the ball bounced up a couple times.

-Here's a quick one. Add a comma before using dialog, please.

Good example: Gregory found a bear in the forest, and his little brother was already catching up to him, "Gregory! Watch out!"

-Add an apostrophe whenever claiming that it's someone's.

Good example: Sara's papers were gone. She had just left the area five minutes ago.

-ADD COMMAS! Commas isn't just for dialog. If you have kept reading this, you should have realized that I put a lot of commas here. And I just added one. By the way, commas are for seperating sentences so the reader can pause a bit, instead of making it feel like it's clustered. But please. Never abuse commas. Only use them when necessary.

Good example: Brandon looked inside the box and his face sparkled once he saw what was inside. A puppy with brown eyes, soft fur, dark skin and a short tail.

THIS COMMENT IS UNFINISHED. I spent like 45 mins on it so far, but I'll update it more :/