Talk:The Tale Of a Heartbroken User/@comment-39442597-20200727030640

7.6/10

For the positive side of the story, it provides a stable enough structure and has enough momentum and surprises to spare, such as the parts where the protagonist is confused and ridiculed by other players because of their choices, along with the fact that the same parallels are drawn with the “villain” (putting that in quotations since they don’t directly hold a role).

For the negative side of the story there are again cliches in it, although the only major ones are specified by the author so the story doesn’t give off a bad scent. I also think that making the antagonist use all caps wasn’t a good addition, since it makes the story have less effect on a slight scale.

Nevertheless, the story is well-pieced together and manages to draw the reader in with its seemingly positive choices of scares, which are put in later on to make it seem that both of the main characters may share the same identity, which further strengthens the plot’s motive. You did well, just only add 1-2 traditional cliches if you can’t think of anything, other than that, you may have enough potential to write another.