Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35633198-20180411010353/@comment-30614152-20180411192436

Constructive Criticism:

Alright, making the antagonist know who the protagonist are is kinda... Cliche. It's very overused in stories and i recommend to remove it. But you don't need to if you don't want, i'm just recommending.

It would be more scarier if you make the antagonist more mysterious, not revealing his name or the victims, but do not get it too far, making the antagonist very mysterious that you don't know a single shit about him. Just.. Sprinkle a little bit of mysterious over there.

I agree with 50 Operate over there, not making him caught would be a good way to end a story, try this: "The Police tried to find the perpetrator, but he left. As the Police keep on searching, they don't see any trace. From this day forward, i was very scared whatever i do, i'm afraid that he will come up to me without a loud step, regardless, all of this made me think, and it made me cry."

Cliche. "Wanna PLAY?!?!?!" "Time of death in 40 minutes." Please remove them.

Also, the News is also cliche, the antagonist killed his brother, and then he was out to call the police... I know i'm pretty saying cliche a bit too much, but it's bothering me.

Overall, your pasta is 5/10. It's not bad, but it's not good at the same time. There is some complaints that need to be fixed..

~Bone.