Talk:A "Typical" ROBLOX Hacker - How a Life was Ended/@comment-30144972-20170621003622

Analysis:

Grammar: 7/10 (On the eleventh paragraph, you shouldn't use the word "til", as it is grammatically incorrect. To avoid controversy, use the word "'till" or "until". Some cases of the word "it's" when it should be "its". One example is in the last paragraph, "I'll continue to read out the text in it's most authentic coded form." On the fifth to last paragraph ("It was obvious accessing ROBLOX from my PC was a bust...") and your last paragraph in one of your sentences, don't start your sentences with conjunctions.)

Originality: 10/10 (That's all I have to say. You've made a special story there.)

Plot: 6/10
 * At the part where you celebrated your 100 million visits, what minigames did you add? What was the event? What was the hat? You might make the excuse, "Oh, I can't say it because people would search for it and say it's fake." You could say the hat was deleted and long forgotten, like you did with your game when you said why you wouldn't say the name of your game.
 * When MrDoomBringer and Telamon joined your game, how could they? Without the use of a ROBLOX party, it would be extremely hard for them to join your server, as the server would've been filled up by now because it was a popular game.
 * In addition, after September 2014, MrDoomBringer resigned from his administrative position and Telamon was named Shedletsky. Discord wouldn't had been available at that time.
 * When the entity joined, you didn't even try to leave the game again; you just stood there. Tell us why in the story.

Empathy: 10/10 (It was like you gave your life and soul to write this story. I love how you made the protagonist explain what he was feeling for each moment.)

Thrill: 9/10 (Despite the plot mistakes, it was very fun to read. Keep it up! Take note that some people reading this might not know the vocabulary you're using, but it's up to you to decide what you want to do with that.)

FINAL SCORE: 8.4/10