Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31527984-20190430232610/@comment-28527909-20190501024034

I just took a quick moment to skim it, and there were only two or three things I noticed.

Firstly, there are a lot of comma splices and overusage of commas. This is a common mistake among young writers and I admit that I am guilty of it as well. I recommend looking up lessons over comma splice, it really really helps you improve as a writer in the long run.

Secondly, there were a few capitalization errors I noticed; which is again, a common flaw shared among young writers. I'm sure you're aware that titles and such must be capitalized, this does include game names as well. I believe this was just what I call a "tired writer" mistake though, so that's what I will percieve it as. You forgot to capitalize "Confusion," in case you were wondering.

Finally, there is a bit of redundancy in sentences that follow after other sentences. Things like information that the reader can not use to assist them with deductions about the story are often pointless, unless they provide an important detail that may be used later on. This sentence in particular is one example; "The creator of the game was a user named 'W'. A user with only one character." It is not necessary to tell the readers that the user W has only one character, as they can deduce that from the prior sentence.

Your writing is very impressive and I believe you possess great potential. Your varied sentence structures are pleasant and draw the reader's eyes to the text. You were also very thorough while maintaining their interest, which is good. I can honestly say that I am astonished!

Good luck with future works, and if you ever have any questions, feel free to let me know.