Talk:I see you.../@comment-37641686-20181210232105

Grammar and Formatting - 4.5/10

I can't. There are no paragraphs. It's an enourmous block of text and your grammar isn't much better. Most of the times you used 'than' you should have been using 'then'. Also, you clearly meant to use right opposed to 'rate' you also need to capitalize some of your Is opposed to letting them remain as i.

Plot - 3/10

I was perplexed as to why the narrator would be frightened of a person with the name of i_seeyou or any name with a message found on roblox. It is a common cliche that the main character be frightened of another character simply by their name but there isn't even a justification for being scared. I felt that the narrator telling i_seeyou it was okay that their family died, was an extremely strange statement to say to someone who's family just died. First of all, why would i_seeyou even be playing roblox if their family just died. Secondly, the main character is obviously unemotional or possibly sadistic and enjoying i_seeyou's pain if their response is merely "it's ok". Also, there were other cliches incorporated as well, such as the line "I see you Isaac..."(that required a comma after you) along with the end of the story where i_seeyou appeared outside of Issac's window. It is impossible for her to arrive there that fast if she hadn't lived in the surrounding area. The narrator stating that it was a girl and not a woman would imply that they're still going to school and a community tragedy would have occurred if i_seeyou's family died. Also, if she actually killed her family then she wouldn't be as idiotic as to say that on the internet as her ip address could easily be located. I also felt that the main character being terrified every few seconds and hardly showing any empathy towards i_seeyou doesn't count to the idea of a dynamic character, I think you attempted to create.

Overall Score - 8/20