Talk:Roblox's First And Only Experiment/@comment-28527909-20160613201212

Nice idea, but I feel like you could have developed the story more. It felt like you were rushing to write this in the gist of getting the idea. You did alright on your capitalization, but I still noticed a few mistakes along the lines of that. I like the image you included, and it does help you get the general idea of what the bots looked like, but I feel like you could have developed imagery in your story upon writing about the bots.

Aside from that, this is a pretty good story! Keep on writing!