Thread:BlueHeart7693/@comment-39383213-20200416175623/@comment-33719196-20200417220044

Okay after reading the whole thing these are my thoughts.

This story's plot is practically non-existent. This pasta has a lot of potential and you leave the reader with so many questions.

"Where did this game come from?"

"Who are these 2 players?"

"Origins of the antagonist?"

"How did everyone get there?"

On top of that, the climax is anti-climatic and that kills the thrill. That is NOT what you want in a story. Basically the peak of the story was "CLICK" and "BANG"-your identity has been stolen, thats all! Now, just think about that. It's not creepy at all.

One cliche that I see is identity theft via hacker and there are already enough of those that have been on this wiki. Please avoid such cliches.

Honestly, I can kind of see why Wolf labelled it as a "crappypasta" even though that may not be the best term to use. It can't even compare to certain writings on this wiki. Please take this story and revise and improve it on google docs because you look like you wrote this on a time limit. I work for weeks on end with my pastas before releasing it with a 9-10 page minimum.

You need some quantity if you want quality unless your writing is supposed to be as a poem or any sort of fine language arts that is not supposed to be long. This pasta does not look like a poem nor were you being descriptive at all.

Staff are allowed to delete your pasta and they tell you afterwards because we don't want too much fuss when a 10 year old kid who isn't even supposed to be here is screaming at us that their page got deleted. We have zero tolerance for whining.

I'm quite disappointed in you. You are the writer of a POtM winning pasta and I expect at least 10 times more from you than this tiny page that you pprobably did in 15 minutes. You lack a lot of effort and quality in this piece. If I were you I would NOT re-upload that page, but rather revise it, and think about what is so wrong with it that Wolf called it a "crappypasta".