Talk:Never put your password into those scam sites/@comment-39442597-20200616012317

7.4/10

For the positive sides of the story, it puts emotion and structure in very well, through the communication between the antagonist and the protagonist, along with the fact we can get the character’s sense of fear and anger through these events.

For the negative side however, a portion of the story doesn’t have much to do with roblox, and blends in to real life very fast, and doesn’t really give an answer or explanation to why or how it happened. There is a little amount of cliche, like the antagonist’s username “GRIEVEROFLOSTSOULS.

Other than that the story is fine, I enjoyed the way the author conveyed the emotion of the character by putting texts in bold, and using grammar when needed. However the plot can be flimsy at moments, as I don’t think events on a certain website should blend that far into the real world. Overall it’s pretty decent, I just think the author should limit the amount of personal events and keep it roblox related enough. You did well with the fight and the emotion, just remember to think of more events that would surprise the reader, and emphasize the feeling of fear and dread throughout. My suggestion is try to keep real life events to a minimum, but yet still manage to deliver a message through.