Talk:Road safety/@comment-36322616-20190210064914

Quite good idea! It started with a bus on the road, and the whole theme is about road safety, that's brilliant!

However...

The story goes a little fast, and you'd better put a 'to be continue' at the end. Anyway, here are my suggestions:

1.Slow down the storytelling by dividing the dialogues into more paragraphs and adding more inner thoughts of the narrator.

It's quite important to control the pace of the storytelling, I hope you can improve this.

2.'''when an "Unknown User" joined our call. His screen was completely black''' may let viewers think of cliche. Try to avoid the cliche... (An evil entity should diguise itself first, to avoid the cliche, even pretend to be a long-term good friend. Think of some cliches like Guest 666. Too obvious.)

Anyway, I'm expecting your Part 2! I may consider rating then.