Talk:Abandoned long ago/@comment-28816784-20160622075634

Not to be too nitpicky, but I found in the first few paragraphs there was a lack of punctuation, and the continuous use of 'and'. I found the "Roblox user died because of Roblox" a cliche, and the black ooze coming out of the computer as well. Same goes for the "game is possessed by ghost and if you play it'll kill you". Other than that, I rather enjoyed this pasta.

6/10